


doghouse

by thangam



Series: bad things happen bingo 2019 [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Tony Stark, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Tony, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunken Shenanigans, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Hangover, Humorous Ending, Jail, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Multi, Sharing Clothes, Soft Tony, Steve Rogers Flirts, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Tony STark is not here for your bullshit, Waking Up in Jail, soft steve rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 10:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thangam/pseuds/thangam
Summary: Tony scrubbed a hand over his face. “Start from the beginning. Like you’d explain to Thor. Drunk Thor.”Steve winced at the volume. “Really it’s not my fault, Nat’s the one who-”Tony cleared his throat impatiently. “That doesn’t sound like an explanation. At all. Please explain to me, slowly, as to why Captain America is sitting in a fucking jail cell with his best buddies.”
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: bad things happen bingo 2019 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1323713
Comments: 11
Kudos: 345
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	doghouse

**Author's Note:**

> square: rejected apology (ik this bingo is for sad stuff, but i just want my fave to be happy and in love, and idrc with who. is that too much to ask?)

Tony scrubbed a hand over his face. "Start from the beginning. Like you'd explain to Thor. Drunk Thor."

Steve winced at the volume. "Really it's not my fault, Nat's the one who-"

Tony cleared his throat impatiently. "That doesn't sound like an explanation. At all. Please explain to me, slowly, as to why Captain America is sitting in a fucking jail cell with his best buddies."

"Um. So. NatdaredmetoadrinkingcontestandthensheforeitedbecauseBuckyarrivedandthensomeonespikedmedrinksoallIcanrememberiswakinguphereinnothingbutabraandunderwear," he rushed out in one breath sheepishly. 

Tony groaned and his head thunked forward onto his hands. "Steve. Drunk Thor words."

Steve grimaced. "I don't have words that small."

Tony sighed. "One more time. Slowly."

"Nat challenged me to a drinking contest and then she left somewhere in between and the bartender thought she broke up with me so they kept giving me drinks? But I didn't want to say stop, because hey, free drinks, and then Bucky and Sam showed up and thought I looked sad drinking alone, and at one point I'm fairly certain that I drank a straight bottle of vodka. Then things start going fuzzy. And that's all I remember before waking up here in this bra and underwear."

Tony pulled a face and thunked his head against the cold, metal jail bars. "Steven."

"Yes, darling?" 

"You're so sleeping on the couch."

"I'm sorry," Steve said meekly, and Tony tried not to melt at the patented Rogers-kicked-puupy expression. 

"No," he said and tried not to just hug Steve when his shoulders dropped. "Too bad."

Sam rolled over on his cot and groaned. "Looks like you're in the dog house, Cap," the man slurred. He tried to sit up before flopping back onto the jail-issued cot. "I regret everything."

Tony turned his glare onto the other man. "Serves you right. Don't think Nat's not gonna come for you for enabling her boyfriend and my husband to get plastered and running buck-ass nude around Harlem. You, Barnes, and Steve over here are also going to apologizing to my PR team for making them clean up your mess. Also, did you lose Barnes?"

The lump that Tony had previously assumed was the covers that Steve had been sleeping under twitched. "Hurgh?" Came a muffled mumble. Barnes' head poked out of the covers, eyes squinting and face scrunched up, before retreating with a groan. "Hurgh." 

Tony sighed. "You look like shit." 

The supersoldier moaned and stayed under the covers. "Bleh."

Tony unlocked the jail cell and gestured at Steve and Sam. "Don't even think about taking a break for it, I'm your ride. And Sam, I'd get your apology speech ready, because Nat's driving." Tony strode over to the pathetic-looking lump that was Bucky and yanked the covers off. 

Bucky let out a whine and pressed his face into the cot. "Too bright. Turn sun off," he muttered. 

Tony smirked and with a voice that was just a bit too loud, said, "Too bad. C'mon." 

With the help of Steve, who was wincing all the way from his likely enormous hangover they hauled Bucky out of the station to the car that was waiting in front. Tony dropped him into the backseat, where Nat viewed him with an impassive face. Granted, her face was always set in a mildly judgemental look. "He's done a number on himself," her voice just below a shout, likely hell on the hungover men. 

Tony grinned at her. "Yep. Look absolutely miserable. I can't imagine why," he responded his voice the same volume. Steve, Sam, and Barnes winced, hard. Sam and Steve maneuvered Bucky until there was space to sit and settle in the seat, their eyes squeezed shut, their heads likely throbbing at this point, the volume and the brightness of the sun hell on their senses. 

Tony looked at them in sympathy. He'd had his fair share of waking up in strange places with a hangover. He lowered his voice, "Seatbelts on boys." 

The other men blearily strapped on their seatbelts. Natasha floored the gas, likely breaking several speed laws as they zipped back home. 

At the tower, Sam and Bucky reluctantly followed their girlfriend as Natasha gave them a look, leaving Tony with just a hungover Steve. "Steve?" he asked quietly, making Steve startle from where he'd zoned out, before flinching as the sharp movement probably made his head throb. "Hey, darling," he crooned quietly, rubbing at Steve's temple. "C'mon, let's get to bed."

Steve followed him meekly, leaning on him when they stood in the elevator. Tony sighed. "Your head must really hurt, don't it?"

"I'm never drinking again," Steve said miserably, nuzzling his hair and Tony smiled against himself, wrapping an arm around Steve's waist. "Why."

"That's what you said during your bachelor's party too babe, at least according to Sam," Tony retorted, hauling them both in and cursing, because goddamn, Steve was heavy. 

"Mblegh," Steve complained, turning his head gratefully into the sheets as Tony shoved him onto the bed. "Thanks."

Tony smirked, wiggling Steve's shoes and socks off and getting him down to his boxers. "Get on the bed, ya lump," he said, laughing when Steve whined and moved like--an inch. He smacked STeve's ass with a snap, and Steve whined, wiggling under the sheets. "Good," he said, smiling and striped so he was down to sweatpants and Steve's hoodies. Tony slid under the sheets and sighed contently as Steve rolled on top of him and immediately pressed his face to Tony's shoulder, and Tony began to massage his scalp. "I'm still mad," he whispered, unable to resist; nobody ever said he wasn't a petty bitch. "Once you stop looking so sad, you actually are sleeping on the couch."

Steve just whimpered. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr [@thxngam](https://thxngam.tumblr.com/)! please please please send me prompts and you can follow for some content that I might not put on here!


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